Lucky Number Seven

Dear Sebastian,

You have your seventh tooth now. Congratulations. Your top left tooth next to your two front teeth has come in, which is great. You have had several very cranky days leading up to this one. I could hope that we would get a small break now, but these things tend to pop up in at least pairs, so I imagine another will be on its way out of your gums shortly. 

You also have your one year well check coming up. (I know. I'm late. So sue me.) Mommy has been so worried about your vaccines. I wasn't like this with your brother at all, but for some reason the thought of continuing on with the schedule the pediatricians have come up with based on the CDCs recommended vaccine schedule sends cold chills down my spine. The more research I've done, the more I am convinced that we need to delay some of your vaccines. Daddy says he 100% supports whatever I wish to do, so I am going into your appointment on Thursday ready for a battle. They give me an ear full when I decline the flu shot every year, I can't imagine it will go better when I tell them I want to put off the MMR and Chicken Pox vaccines. Wish me luck!

Your Daddy will be home soon. I am hoping that you warm up to him as much in person as you have on the computer. You get so excited when the computer chimes letting us know that Daddy is there to Skype with us! I joke with him that he is going to have to have some kind of fake laptop cut out that he holds in front of his face for a few days. :0) I think you will be OK. After all, you judge much of how you react to things on how your brother and I react, and Parker is almost beside himself with excitement waiting for Daddy to come home. I am too, of course, and I am hoping you will take your cues from that. I'm worried all the amped emotions might bother you, you seem to pick up on those things very well, but I know it will all be OK in the end and we will be a family under the same roof again soon. So exciting!

Until next time, be good, be happy, and know that I love you.

Love,

Mommy

You Know My Heart

Dear Parker,

I wonder if you ever plan on letting me get through a week without making me cry and thanking the Lord above for giving me such an amazing blessing. Probably not. I don't know where you come up with some of the stuff that you say, except that you are the purest, most beautiful little soul I have been blessed to meet at this point in my life. If your brother grows the same way, I can truly say that there is nothing else I can ask for in life to make me happy. You are more than I had ever hoped for.

It has been a rough week. I have been snapping a lot, and on Thursday evening I snapped about something while getting you ready for bed. The look of shock and sadness on both your faces was enough to make me instantly regret losing my temper. I told you both I was sorry, and you got this angelic sweet smile on your face, reached out and put your hand on my chest and assured me:

"It's OK, Mommy. You are so good in your heart. You are the best Mommy ever."

Fighting tears, I quietly told you I wasn't, as I thought to myself that no one, no one who had ever walked this Earth could deserve a son as wonderful as you, least of all me. Still smiling you assured me that I was indeed the best Mommy.

"You are the best of the best, Mommy. The best of the best."

I know you won't always feel that way. I know that one day you will tell me I don't understand. That I am wrong and I am ruining your life. And I will remember the little boy who put his hand over my heart and told me that I was so good in my heart, and the best of the best. 

Until next time, be good, be happy, and know that I love you.

Love,

Mommy